


Epic Origin Story

by Cruel_Cupid



Series: May the Force of Love be With You [5]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: 2014 setting, Alcohol, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Eventual Smut, First Meetings, First Time, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Meet-Cute, Minor Angst, Nerd Seungcheol, Opposites Attract, basic bitch jeonghan, bullying references, fandom references, van sex, wonwoo dresses as sherlock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 11:54:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29471298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cruel_Cupid/pseuds/Cruel_Cupid
Summary: Jeonghan is cute, popular and turns all the heads on campus.Seungcheol spends his free time running around in cosplay and planning D&D campaigns.When the two unlikely dorm neighbours quite literally collide, a truly epic college romance is set in motion - that is, if they can each come terms with just how different they really are.
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan
Series: May the Force of Love be With You [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1717771
Comments: 45
Kudos: 176





	Epic Origin Story

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry if the timeline doesn't match up, my brain switches off when I have to think about numbers.  
> Also there's a soonhoon easter egg hidden in this fic if you squint ahdbfhkfbdl

_August 2010. The end of summer break._

One last check in the mirror, and Jeonghan will be good to go. Eyeliner is unpredictable and hard to apply at the best of times; even after a solid year of practice, he isn’t used to the way it smudges so easily. He’s developed quite a steady hand of late.

But tonight, his nerves aren’t equal to the challenge. 

Jeonghan knows he’s keeping Jihoon’s mom – she has a casserole in the oven back home, after all – but leaving the car is a terrifying prospect. Second only to ringing the doorbell and actually showing his face at the most anticipated party of his sophomore year.

In the end, Jihoon has to drag him out of the station wagon using force. His mom tells them to have fun, be safe and “use protection”— an unnecessary caution that makes Jeonghan wonder if she knows the first thing about her awkward son and his misfit best friend. Getting laid was most definitely _not_ the plan tonight. 

‘Get it together, Yoon Jeonghan,’ Jihoon all but shakes him. ‘Don’t back out on me now.’

Tonight, Jihoon is a man on a mission; with senior year looming over them and college life nearly within their grasp, it was time to try and leave their respective comfort zones and gain a little street cred. 

‘I’m not backing out! But I’m not exactly jumping in either…’ Jeonghan gazes over his friend’s shoulder at the fancy suburban house with its thumping music and bright lights. ‘What if someone makes fun of us. Or worse— what if they film a video and post it on YouTube. I heard that happens all the time these days.’

‘Then I’ll beat them up,’ Jihoon shrugs and leads them both up to the front door. 

Jeonghan thinks – in the last few moments before the door is pushed open – that it’s a whole lot easier for his friend to assimilate than it is for him. Lee Jihoon is short, shy and angry. He’s easy to rile up and even easier to laugh at, but Jeonghan knows that this is a fleeting phase in what will be a colourful, exciting life. Jihoon’s teenage insecurities are a passing rain cloud. College will come and everything will be suddenly lighter. Height doesn’t seem half as important when you’re busy getting a degree; and sure, Jihoon has a lot to be angry about now, but you can’t be miserable forever. 

Even if it sometimes feels that way to Jeonghan. 

The first thing he notices when he finally steps inside, is that no one is dressed remotely like him. It’s not much of a surprise really – not when Jeonghan shows up to school every day and gets laughed at for his life choices. The party is in full swing, and Jeonghan spots low rise jeans, colourful tracksuits and even more colourful miniskirts. His own all-black ensemble makes him immediately fade into the background, no more substantial than a shadow. And if that wasn’t enough of a faux pa, Jeonghan’s makeup and long brown hair – styled into a neat ponytail with a side fringe – is the style equivalent of planting a target on his back. 

Everything about him, from the painted nails to the fingerless gloves, screams “I’m an emo! Come and make fun of me!”

‘Okay, let’s go assimilate.’ Jihoon rubs his hands together. ‘I think we’ll start with some drinks and then gravitate towards the beer pong table.’

Jeonghan is far too nervous to put up a fuss, so they both make their way to the kitchen more or less ignored by the other kids. Jihoon hands him a wine cooler and Jeonghan tries not to hesitate when he takes his first sip. 

With a rowdy game of beer pong taking place just a few metres to their right, the kitchen is not the safe haven Jeonghan hoped it would be. There are far too many boys from the football team here for his liking. Just being in their immediate vicinity makes him antsy; they shout and slap each other hard on the back and behave like true alpha males. Jeonghan knows when they catch sight of him it’s all over. 

‘I’m gonna go to the bathroom. Be right back.’

He ducks out before Jihoon can even try to stop him.

They don’t reunite until the end of the night; until then, Jeonghan spends some quality time with himself in the downstairs bathroom and eventually, far later than he intended, he emerges and steels himself. The living room is the chaotic hub of the party, and Jeonghan figures that the best way of hiding is to lurk in plain sight.

No one pays attention to the wallflower – dressed all in black – reclining in the corner with a red solo cup. So much for assimilating. Jeonghan wonders how bad it would really be if he stood Jihoon up and called his mom to come get him. A night spent listening to some upbeat pop on his ipod nano would be a whole lot better than this failed social experiment. 

With the main lights dimmed and a small electric disco ball casting the room in alternating hues of pink and blue and green, the room has been transformed into a makeshift dancefloor – complete with drunk teenagers leaving a little less room for Jesus than their absent parents would like. There are kids grinding on each other with no rhythm whatsoever, and a few others kissing each other openly (and sloppily). Jeonghan has never been more certain that love is gross. Dating is for losers. Making out with a sweaty boy at a party is the lamest thing imaginable. 

So why does he feel so heartbreakingly lonely?

Jeonghan shrinks in on himself and leans further back against the wall. If he cried, surely no one would notice – it doesn’t matter that he’s uncomfortable, shy, out of place. No one will care.

He starts to wonder if he’s started openly weeping already when he feels a tap on his shoulder. It must be Jihoon, come to take pity on him at last; but when Jeonghan raises a hand to his cheek, he can’t feel any tears. 

What’s even more unexpected is the stranger standing in front of him. 

‘Are you okay? Do you want me to call your mom or dad?’ 

Who is this weird boy with his hand on his shoulder, talking to Jeonghan with all the concern of an adult placating a lost child? And why is he wearing sunglasses indoors? 

…At night?

The shades are just like the kind celebrities wear when they don’t want to be spotted by the paparazzi, and Jeonghan has a hard time recognising him, or even reading his face. He wants to know if this is a malicious prank or a genuine sign of concern from the other boy.

‘I’m fine. Just… chilling,’ Jeonghan says, trying to act cool and unperturbed. The more he scrutinises the other boy, the less sense he can make of the situation. He kind of looks like a jock but doesn’t carry himself with an ounce of confidence or ego. Then there was his polite offer to call Jeonghan’s _mom_ , as if this were some kind of elementary school playdate…

The uncool jock tilts his head and seems unconvinced. He looks at Jeonghan. Then he looks at the dancefloor with the shouting, smiling teenagers. He looks back at Jeonghan again. 

Without giving it a second thought, he takes him by the hand and pulls Jeonghan out onto the dancefloor. Jeonghan stumbles, yells a little, and regains his balance. They’re holding hands and swaying now, and the weird boy sets an awkward rhythm; it’s more middle school dance than it is high school party, but Jeonghan can’t pretend it isn’t nice to be included.

To be noticed.

‘You looked sad so I thought we could chill together. And dance a bit.’

Jeonghan is twirled around just as the music changes to something even more upbeat. It’s almost hard to hear the boy speak over the sound of Katy Perry turned up to full volume. They’re near enough now that Jeonghan can tell his dance partner is tipsy. He notices that he’s a few centimetres taller than the mystery boy, too.

‘That’s cool. I can dance. Dancing is fun…’ Jeonghan wants to scream at himself for being so tongue-tied. Cute boys are hard enough to handle at the best of times, but a cute boy that also happens to be sweet and attentive? This is a losing battle. He plucks up the courage to continue chatting, even with the odds stacked against him. ‘You don’t go to our school, do you? Are you from out of town?’

‘What!? Who told you? I mean— NO. No, I’m not crashing. Ha ha… that would be so rude and reckless. I’m invited and I go to the same high school as you. I’m— on the swim team.’ The boy untangles one hand from Jeonghan just long enough to point at the letterman jacket he’s wearing. Sure, it matches the school colours (almost) but Jeonghan knows it’s a generic jacket and couldn’t possibly be real. He’s pretty sure the logo in the corner says Forever 21.

And as for the claim to be on the swim team— the boy in front of him isn’t lean and toned like those student athlete assholes. He’s a little soft and doughy in places. Although Jeonghan doesn’t seem to mind that at all.

‘That jacket is an obvious fake and those sunglasses are clearly a disguise. Nobody here cares if you’re crashing, it’s just a party—’ Jeonghan reaches over to pull the glasses off, but the other boy steps back and panics.

‘Hey, stop! Don’t do that! I don’t wanna get in trouble, I shouldn’t even be here.’ He starts rustling around in his jacket pockets, looking for something that he can’t seem to find. 

‘It’s okay, relax,’ Jeonghan raises his hands. ‘Your secret’s safe with me. Besides,’ he says, looking at his feet. ‘No one talks to me anyway.’

‘I don’t get that.’ The other boy looks suddenly much calmer; alcohol really can make you behave erratically, it seems. ‘I think you’re really cool and really pretty.’

Jeonghan turns completely red. His whole face feels hot— but the boy isn’t done yet.

‘Your style is awesome… and I wondered if maybe, since you’re kinda edgy, you might be… into stuff that other people think is weird?’

It feels like a loaded question, and Jeonghan isn’t quite sure what the stranger is hoping to hear. A small part of him wonders if this is about BDSM or some other kind of kinky thing. He panics and tries to be honest – better to shut down this boy’s hopes before he gets the wrong idea.

‘I’m not into “weird” stuff at all, actually. To tell you the truth, I don’t even like emo rock that much. I just—’ he pauses and struggles to find the words, ‘—like showing people that I’m not like them, you know? I want to be me. I want to have at least a little bit of an edge. One day I’ll find the right balance.’

As he opens up his heart, the mystery boy leads them away from the dancefloor and out through the French doors. It’s as if he can tell Jeonghan is tired of being perceived – or not perceived – by all the other partygoers. The garden is much quieter. They sit down by the uncovered pool and watch the light reflect of its chlorine-blue surface.

‘Maybe you could try being half emo,’ the boy suggests.

‘Or maybe I’ll just try and be me but keep a little something of who I was…’ Jeonghan pauses to think. ‘I’ve always wanted to try pink hair. If I’m brave enough, I’ll do it one day.’

His companion leans back on his arms and gives Jeonghan a good, long stare – as if trying to capture the moment somehow. ‘Then if I ever see a cute guy with pink hair a few years from now, I’ll know it’s you.’

Jeonghan absolutely refuses to blush _again_. To hide his bashfulness, he turns away and pretends to look at the scattering of starts shining right above them. He suddenly feels a need to know more about this stranger; so far, the conversation has been painfully unequal. 

‘So… crashing a party, huh? Are you a bit of a rebel?’

The boy smiles and laughs at this. Jeonghan notices for the first time that his new acquaintance is wearing braces. Not exactly the cool, bad boy look he was expecting. 

‘I don’t normally do things like this. I’m from out of town – I’m staying with relatives for summer break and my older brother convinced me to “enjoy my youth”. But if I’m being honest, this has all been a bit too crazy for me. I nearly had a panic attack just walking through the door.’

Jeonghan can’t help laughing a bit at this. ‘Why are you still here then?’

Evidently the alcohol is kicking in even more than before, because the other boy searches his mind for an answer. When he does speak, Jeonghan is surprised by the turn the conversation takes.

‘Have you ever seen the Iron Man movie? No? Well of course you haven’t, it’s for dumb nerds— but I got roped into seeing it by a friend. I thought that I could be like Tony Stark, and maybe if I put on a suit of armour I could go out into the world and feel like a superhero. Is that making any sense?’

It doesn’t make any sense whatsoever – and not just because Jeonghan isn’t a fan of superheroes. But he’s become incredibly aware of the lack of distance between them now. Who had first approached the other? Or had they both unconsciously shuffled nearer until there was hardly any space left between them?

They make eye contact. 

Jeonghan leans closer to the other boy’s mouth. He doesn’t pull back.

Just a few centimetres and they’ll be close enough to—

‘WOOOOOO!’

An ungainly scream tears through the silence and a drunk girl cannonballs into the swimming pool. Unaware of Jeonghan and his would-be lover, the impact of the dive splashes them in chlorine-soaked water. Before Jeonghan can even get his bearings, a whole swarm of kids bursts through the open doors into the backyard; evidently the party has grown too big to be contained by the limits of a mere house.

Through the crowd, Jeonghan spots a rather angry looking Jihoon searching for him. His temper has flared up – it’s time to leave. 

Suddenly mortified by the thought of his best friend catching him with a stranger, Jeonghan decides to pull a Cinderella and make a dash for it.

But he doesn’t want to leave unsatisfied.

He gives the mystery boy one last look and kisses him quickly on the cheek.

Then Jeonghan runs into the crowd and doesn’t look back; he leaves the party with Jihoon feeling the beginnings of change stirring within him. 

Soon summer will be over.

Soon high school will be over too.

-

_September 2014. Four years later._

Jeonghan is thoroughly convinced that the worst part of the college experience is studying. It’s totally unreasonable and borderline abusive to assign this much extracurricular work – especially when Jeonghan’s social calendar is already so booked up. 

It’s been unseasonably warm; fall hasn’t yet taken hold, and on this fine September night Jeonghan has been reading books in the library. The semester has barely even begun, but marketing and business studies take up so much of his time. Not to mention math. As he walks back towards his dorm building, Jeonghan feels particularly grateful for the art class that’ll take up his Friday afternoons. 

It’ll be a blissful two hours of not having to use his tired brain. Maybe he could even spend the time scrolling on Pinterest, finding fashion inspiration for the next big party. 

His key card beeps him into the dorm. Jeonghan is so close now; he can practically smell the coffee his roommate is already brewing ahead of his arrival. Seokmin is an absolute godsend and – as it turns out – a real and lasting friend. A vast improvement on his last roommate, who played Skrillex at 3am, didn’t use deodorant and stole Jeonghan’s underwear.

Jeonghan is new to this particular dorm building, but his sheer determination to unlace his converse, eat instant ramen and unwind is strong enough to guide him down the right corridor. 

There it is – the door to his room – so tantalisingly close that Jeonghan switches off his remaining braincells and creeps towards it like a mindless zombie. 

He’s only a few steps away when he gets body-slammed onto the floor, wrestling style. 

His first confused thought is that someone has been watching too many Walking Dead episodes and has really mistaken him for a dangerous undead creature. Jeonghan can hardly blame them; especially when he groans helplessly in response. 

Evidently his assailant has a bit more sense than Jeonghan gives him credit for. He’s helped up into a sitting position with so much urgency that it almost makes him dizzy.

‘Oh man, oh man,’ the guy mutters. ‘Oh man. Oh boy. I’m so sorry— are you okay?’ 

Jeonghan rubs his eyes a few times and looks back at the accidental attacker. For some strange reason he’s wearing a tweed jacket and a bowtie. And… a fez? Either this is the most embarrassing college boy of all time, or Jeonghan has died and entered some bizzarre hell dimension. 

Disturbed by Jeonghan’s inability to reply, the boy gets more worried and calls over to someone else – another guy that Jeonghan can’t see at all. ‘Wonwoo! Get the first aid kit! We’ve got a man down here!’

‘What’s going on?’ Jeonghan asks. ‘Am I concussed or are you really dressed like a creep?’

The other boy looks very grave and solemn as he makes his diagnosis. ‘It must be a really bad concussion. I don’t look like a creep at all.’

Jeonghan thinks that’s probably debatable. 

‘My name is Seungcheol, what’s yours? Is your dorm near here?’

Seungcheol. It’s a nice name. Jeonghan is sure he’s never heard it mentioned before – but then they probably run in very different circles. Jeonghan doesn’t know anybody that owns a fez.

‘I’m Yoon Jeonghan. Room 4B— it’s just at the end of the corridor.’ 

He expects Seungcheol to run off and get his roommate, but he seems far too concerned and a little too out of his depth to think critically. If Jeonghan was in less distress, he’d find it endearing. Instead, Seungcheol takes some kind of pen-like thing out of his jacket pocket. When he presses a button, the end of the stick lights up and he points it right in Jeonghan’s eyes like he’s playing doctor.

‘Can you follow the light for me? I need to make sure your mind is working okay.’

Jeonghan is starting to get irritable now – he hasn’t had a snack in two hours and now he’s being held back from the comfort of his bed. He swats the annoying thing away. 

‘You have no idea what you’re doing, do you?’

Seungcheol gives him another sceptical look and calls for his friend again. ‘Wonwoo? This is serious, come help!’

A disembodies voice shouts back: ‘If you really want to beat me, you’ll have to be smarter than that!’ 

After a few beats of silence, the voice loses all of its overblown confidence, and Jeonghan sees another boy emerge from the opposite end of the corridor where he’s been hiding. He’s wearing a long black coat and a scarf – the kind of outfit that would look cool on anyone else but seems incredibly awkward on him.

‘Oh, you weren’t joking,’ Wonwoo says. ‘Better get that kit after all.’

Incredibly disturbed by the thought of these strange, socially inept men wrapping bandages around his head, Jeonghan makes a dash for his dorm room. He’s a bit unsteady on his feet but he feels a lot healthier than he must look.

Without so much as a glance back, he runs through the door of his room leaving his dorm neighbours with as much reassurance as he can manage. 

‘I’m okay now— goodbye forever!’

When Jeonghan leans back against the other side of his door, he doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

-

Choi Seungcheol hadn’t expected it to be so difficult to track down a boy that supposedly lives just opposite him. For four solid days, he’s been knocking on the door of room 4B and keeping an eye out in the cafeteria. It’s hard to know exactly where Jeonghan spends his time; Seungcheol has never been interested in the “college experience”. He goes by what he knows from the movies.

But Jeonghan isn’t playing ultimate frisbee on the college green; nor is he hanging around at water fountains, chatting with friends. 

When Friday comes around, Seungcheol is ready to accept the inevitable. Jeonghan is so much cooler and hotter than he is – it makes perfect sense that he’d never want to speak to Seungcheol again, let alone receive a proper apology from him.

Wonwoo is gracious enough to hear him complain yet again as they walk to their respective classes.

‘The flowers are starting to wilt. How can he ever know how sorry I am without getting the flowers?’ Seungcheol says, sulking. 

His best friend hoists his backpack further up his shoulders – steeling himself for a bit of much needed tough love. ‘It’s better this way. It’s the natural order of things. Do you think this boy has any interest in your flowers? Hell no. Does he want to have to look you in the eyes ever again? Highly doubtful. Given the chance, would he laugh in your face and make fun of your ironed jeans behind your back? Almost certainly.’

Seungcheol feels even worse. He’s put his favourite Star Wars t-shirt on today, but even the whimsical “Call me the Boss” slogan with a picture of Darth Vader isn’t making him feel quite as cool as it normally does.

‘Was that supposed to cheer me up?’

Wonwoo adjusts his glasses. ‘I’m a realist, Seungcheol. I don’t sugar coat the facts.’ He puts a firm hand on Seungcheol’s shoulder. ‘But hey, you’ll always have me.’

And with that comforting statement, his friend power walks away to physics class. Seungcheol is left outside the art room with a lot of self-pity, all the better to channel into his masterpieces. 

He hopes the teacher won’t mind grading fan art. 

When he steps inside and takes a seat, he doesn’t recognise the head of blonde hair next to him. It takes a good few minutes of getting out his art supplies and water bottle before he notices the student fidgeting in his peripheral vision; almost as if he’s shuffling his chair as far away from him as humanly possible.

‘Jeonghan!’

Seungcheol has always had a problem with volume control. Half the class stop what they’re doing and stare at the aforementioned Jeonghan, who responds by lowering his head and turning bright red on cue. He never came across as the shy type before, but Seungcheol is too busy apologising to make a mental note of this. 

‘That was so loud, wasn’t it?’ he winces at his own blunder. ‘I’m sorry— and I’m even more sorry about running into you on Monday night. I’ve been trying to apologise and give you flowers but I just couldn’t find you—'

Jeonghan, who until now had been staring a little too intently at Seungcheol’s Star Wars shirt with a look of faint disgust, now comes to his senses. ‘Flowers? For me?’ He blinks a few times, and the colour returns to his cheeks – this time a light dusting of pink. It matches the colour of his NASA t-shirt. It looks very cute and fashionable paired with a denim jacket, although Seungcheol is sceptical of its authenticity. He doubts real NASA merch comes in pastel tones.

‘Yeah, just some roses. They’re a peace offering. I wrote a little card too…’

Jeonghan is giving him a very odd look. It’s the kind of squinting stare that Wonwoo does when he loses his glasses. Seungcheol isn’t sure what to make of this, but it’s an improvement on the look of second-hand embarrassment he’s given him until now. 

‘That’s very sweet of you.’ Jeonghan appears to be choosing his words carefully. Seungcheol is very bad at reading body language and picking up on social cues, but he decides that Jeonghan is being friendly. Neighbourly. 

‘I’ll just drop them at your dorm later then.’ Seungcheol is conscious of Jeonghan’s discerning eyes on him. He feels hot under the collar, but this isn’t a new and unexpected sensation. He always gets like this when he’s attracted to someone out of his league—

Oh no. 

_Oh no._ Seungcheol fights the feeling. Wonwoo’s grim omen about sticking to the status quo echoes in his head like a mystical prophecy of the highest order. 

‘That outfit you were wearing the other night,’ Jeonghan begins. ‘Is that a normal look for you…?’

Seungcheol almost wants to laugh— has this boy been living under a rock? Now he feels even sillier for ever imagining himself catching feelings for someone so basic. ‘I was the Doctor? You know…. From Doctor Who? It was roleplay.’

Jeonghan bites his pen and nods. Not a single word of what Seungcheol is saying seems to make sense to him. 

The entrance of the teacher is a godsend, and Seungcheol heaves a sigh of relief when she asks them to push the desk aside and set up the easels. Finally, he can focus on his artwork and try to get his mind off Yoon Jeonghan. 

When they’re all done preparing the classroom, the students form a circle with an empty space in the middle. The teacher has thrown a soft blanket over some upturned crates to form a makeshift stage on which a life model will pose for them. It should be an easy two hours if Seungcheol can concentrate on the matter at hand. He’s so desperate to switch off his traitorous mind that he spaces out entirely as the teacher introduces the session.

It’s only when Seungcheol stretches his arms and leans back that he realises the entire class is looking at him – some giggling and smiling, others nodding at him with an awed kind of respect.

‘Thank you for volunteering, Mr Choi. It’s so good of you to step up and replace our model. We can draw from life today after all.’ When the class erupts into excitable chit chat, Seungcheol sees the teacher point him towards a screen at the back of the class.

He doesn’t move. Seungcheol refuses to acknowledge what’s happened. 

In the end, Jeonghan has to call him back to reality.

‘I think you accidentally volunteered to pose naked in front of the class,’ he says as gently as he can manage. As if trying to soften the blow, he adds, ‘I know the life models are usually shredded and built like Greek gods, but I think it could be really _fun_ to draw someone that’s never been to the gym.’

Well that was just offensive.

Seungcheol might be a dork; he might be a nerd at the bottom of the pecking order, but he isn’t as lame as Jeonghan thinks he is. You don’t have to be an entitled gym bro to strip in front of a college class. He has courage too.

When he emerges from behind the screen, it’s obvious that everyone in the room is desperate to get a look at his body. The teacher is kind enough to allow Seungcheol to keep his underwear on – a pair of boxer briefs with the Star Trek logo on it. 

It feels exactly like a nightmare. 

Seungcheol tries to recline on top of the crates without looking too stiff. When he gets settled, he immediately switches off and goes to his happy place (the Enterprise) without deigning to acknowledge the other students,

No doubt they’re laughing at him.

No doubt Jeonghan is laughing at him.

Seungcheol hazards a peek – just one quick look out of the corner of his eye – and sees Jeonghan gazing back. Unaware of being observed, the other boy draws and takes in Seungcheol with a very wide-eyed curiosity. Every now and then he bites his lip. 

It’s so baffling that Seungcheol can’t watch any longer. He closes his eyes until the bell rings and he regains what’s left of his dignity. 

-

‘No way. You can’t be serious.’

Seungkwan is so shocked by Jeonghan’s account of art class that he all but drops his pizza slice. If there’s one thing his friend likes, it’s gossip; and if the story has a twist or something juicy and unexpected, then all the better. 

Seokmin and Jihoon are interested too. All four of them are gossips at heart – they’re just better at hiding it than their overzealous friend.

‘I’m telling you – he had a great body. No one saw it coming. I know the group of girls to my left were getting ready to roast him to hell and back, but they got one look at that ass and shut up.’

‘So are you gonna add him to your body count?’ Jihoon asks, blunt as ever. 

Jeonghan resents in the insinuation. He’s not a slut; he just has a very modern and liberated view of sex, that’s all. And in a way, he’s making up for lost time. 

He never had any confidence in high school, after all.

‘No!’ Jeonghan tries to sound outraged. ‘Well, probably not. Maybe.’

The others roll their eyes at predictable Jeonghan – but the biceps aren’t the real stars of the show. It’s not just what’s on the surface that’s made him sit up and pay attention. Jeonghan has always been a sucker for kindness. 

And kindness without ulterior motives is the most flattering gesture of all. He’d gotten his flowers the previous night; the card had a quick apologetic message inside, finished off with a little sad face drawn at the bottom. But inside there was a Starbucks gift card, charged up with enough money for four or five drinks. 

He still can’t get his head around it, even now. 

‘I bet you’ll find a way to get close to him.’ Seokmin is full of excitement and admiration for his roommate. 

‘We’re working on a portrait project together. The teacher assigned us as partners; we need to hang out for the next two weeks, make sketches and then work on our final assignments. I’m drawing him and he’s drawing me.’ 

‘Poor guy,’ Seungkwan coos. ‘You can’t draw for shit.’

Jeonghan sticks his tongue out— and the promptly puts it back in again when a certain boy from his business studies class walks by. 

‘Hey Jeonghan,’ he says with a wink. ‘See you in class?’

It’s deliberately flirtatious – quite obviously so – and when Joshua Hong is out of earshot, his friends erupt into laughter and screeches.

‘He really likes you!’ Seokmin says. If he holds his carton of juice any tighter, it’ll burst.

‘Yeah, why are you sleeping around when _Joshua Hong_ is practically throwing himself at you? He’s smart, hot and he’s got great prospects after college. You’d be the perfect couple.’ Jihoon is trying very hard to get his point across.

‘He is cute…’ Jeonghan says. ‘He told me he’s already got a banking internship set up for this summer which is neat. Also, he plays the guitar.’ 

Seokmin sighs in appreciation. 

‘Maybe if he’s going to the mixer, I’ll shoot my shot. And until then I’ll be good and celibate – like a nun.’

Seungkwan’s mouth falls open and Jeonghan is offended by just how shocked his friend is; he’s fully capable of keeping his clothes on for two whole weeks. But Seungkwan is looking over Jeonghan’s shoulder at something – or someone – fast approaching. 

‘Good luck with that,’ he says, raising an eyebrow at Jeonghan just as he feels a hand on his shoulder. 

When he turns around, he sees a very sweaty Seungcheol smiling down at him. The midday sun is behind him, and it’s so unseasonably warm that the nerdy boy is out jogging in a tank top. He must have seen Jeonghan and his friends eating lunch outside and thought it would be an excellent idea to come over and parade around with his guns out. 

‘Beautiful day, isn’t it?’ Seungcheol is polite as can be. Totally oblivious to the pointed stares of Jeonghan’s friends. 

‘I don’t thrive in the sun, but sure.’ Jeonghan puts a hand over his eyes to shield himself from the burning brightness. ‘Are you out for a run?’

‘I sure am! It’s part of this fitness programme I’ve been doing. See, it was getting kinda difficult to wield my sword—’

‘—Your _sword?’_ Seokmin can’t help interrupting.

‘Oh, don’t worry; it’s a prop sword.’ Seungcheol is very serious. ‘Health and safety is very important to me. Nevertheless, Wonwoo and I go pretty hard with our roleplaying, so we use convincing replicas. I decided to get in shape so I could play my part better.’ He grins at the group of friends. ‘But I’m ranting, aren’t I? I’ll leave you lovely folks to your lunch—Jeonghan, I’ll see you tomorrow. Meet me in the parking lot!’

Seungcheol jogs away, blissfully ignorant of the open-mouthed gawping left in his wake.

‘He has no idea he’s shredded, does he?’ Seungkwan breaks the silence.

‘Nope,’ Jeonghan concurs. ‘He doesn’t know he’s hot.’

They all sit in silence for a few more moments, reflecting on the miraculous body and even more unprecedented affability of Choi Seungcheol.

Jihoon is slightly less convinced. ‘”Lovely folks”… who says that?’

-

Jeonghan has stopped dead in his tracks, just as Seungcheol gets out his keys. He’s beginning to get used to the confusion on his project partner’s pretty face; there’s such a discrepancy between their personalities and hobbies that a lot of patience and understanding is required. 

‘When you asked me to meet you in the parking lot, I assumed it was because you had a car. I thought you were gonna take me somewhere nice.’

‘I do have a car. A van is a car.’ He tries to be empathetic; after all, it doesn’t look great. He’s brought a boy to an anonymous white van after dark. Alone. ‘I promise I’m not creepy— and once you see inside the van, you’ll realise it’s not weird at all.’

He looks back and sees Jeonghan shiver in the night air, considerably colder than the warm afternoon sun. The other boy has decided to show up to their meeting in ripped denim shorts and a black t-shirt, with nothing more substantial than a flannel shirt tied around his waist. It’s not the most practical outfit for a late-night study session, and Seungcheol is confused by how unnecessarily revealing it is. 

As he opens up his trusty van, he checks on his new friend. ‘Do you want to hurry back and change? Maybe put some sweatpants on? You look cold.’

‘Really? I thought I looked good.’

Is that the faintest hint of cockiness in Jeonghan’s voice? But why on earth would he tease him now when they’ve slowly but surely gained a mutual respect? Seungcheol decides it must be a trick question. 

It’s not worth the risk of answering.

‘Here we go! Come on in,’ Seungcheol says, pulling open the door. Just like an unprepared human entering the Tardis for the first time, Seungcheol imagines Jeonghan will react with an equal amount of wonder and awe. 

‘Oh. So it _is_ a creepy van.’

Seungcheol is baffled; what on earth could be creepy about the hand drawn, tea-stained maps on the walls? Or the mounted swords? Or the crate of fantasy clothing and the goblets and the Mountain Dew bottles—

Okay, Seungcheol can see it now. It’s creepy.

‘I swear we don’t use it for anything nefarious.’

‘I don’t doubt it,’ Jeonghan says, stepping inside. ‘There’s not a bad bone in your body. Also, I find it very hard to believe that anyone’s ever been laid in a van like this.’

There’s no point in protesting and putting up a fuss; Seungcheol is the most obvious virgin ever to set foot on a college campus. 

Jeonghan takes a seat on one of the cushions around the coffee table. Everything has been left in order after his last campaign, and just the slightest movement of one of the pieces would mess it all up – and seriously piss of Jeon Wonwoo. Seungcheol cautiously joins him and prays that Jeonghan keeps his hands to himself. 

Time to get to work. He pulls out some paper and a sketching pencil, but Jeonghan has other ideas.

‘So… tell me about yourself. We must have a few things in common.’ 

Is he playing with his hair? And is he biting his lip again like he was in the classroom?

‘Umm…’ Seungcheo can’t answer. He’s suddenly feeling really hot and claustrophobic. The van has never seemed so confined before; Jeonghan is way too close. And way too pretty.

‘Maybe that was a tricky question. Do you have an instagram? We should follow each other. My username is @hani_babe.’

‘I don’t have it.’ Seungcheol clears his throat. His voice cracks like he’s going through puberty.

Jeonghan laughs and brushes Seungcheol’s hand gently with his own. A bolt of electricity is sent down his skin – it feels oddly familiar somehow, but he can’t understand why. 

‘Do you have any social media at all?’Jeonghan shuffles near him. He smells like vanilla. Instinctively, Seungcheol stands up and walks as far away as possible, against the wall.

But Jeonghan just keeps acting strangely; he stands up too and closes the space between them. 

‘I… uhhh… I have a tumblr.’

‘Of course you do.’ Jeonghan rolls his eyes.

And then he kisses Seungcheol’s neck.

‘Woah…’ 

It’s all Seungcheol can manage. He’d hardly allowed himself to believe that Yoon Jeonghan was interested in him like that. Someone so earth shatteringly beautiful, so funny, so fascinating… surely he could never think of Seungcheol as an object of desire. But now here they are, unbearably close. 

Seungcheol is surrounded by Jeonghan. It’s overwhelming but in a good way. 

‘Is this okay?’ Jeonghan pulls away and looks up. ‘Do you want this?’

In response, Seungcheol half laughs and half chokes out an erratic answer; ‘I should be the one asking you that! I mean— why me of all people—’

‘Less talking, more boning.’

Oh gosh. That’s a sex word, isn’t it? This hot boy wants to have sex with Seungcheol. Real sex. The thought of it is intoxicating and it sends Seungcheol over the edge. Already he’s hard, and he has no idea if that’s a bad thing or a good thing.

Jeonghan seems to think it’s the latter, and he smiles as his hand roams further and further down until…

_…contact._

Seungcheol gasps at the feeling of being touched by someone else for the first time. It’s becoming more and more obvious that he’s had no experience; so much so that Jeonghan seems to think it’s worth discussing. 

‘It’s alright if you’ve never been with anyone before. I’ll try and make sure this is comfortable— unless you want to stop?’

Clearly stopping isn’t an option; as Jeonghan speaks, he staggers forward and puts his hands under the other boy’s shirt. Marvelling in the sensation of someone else’s body beneath his fingertips, Seungcheol goes further down and grasps at Jeonghan’s hips and squeezes his ass.

Jeonghan pulls off Seungcheol’s t-shirt and wastes no time getting handsy. Almost as swiftly, Jeonghan’s top gets yanked off too, and the flannel shirt falls to the ground. The feeling of skin-on-skin contact is startlingly intimate, and Seungcheol wants more of it. He starts hastily undoing the button of Jeonghan’s tiny shorts. The other boy gasps and looks around him for a space to recline. Before Seungcheol can protest, his lover pushes all the D&D gear off the coffee table and moves it to the corner, placing a few pillows on the floor for comfort.

Seungcheol hesitates. He really does consider getting down on his hands and knees and picking it all up – but it’s only a moment’s hesitation. The next thing he knows, he’s colliding with Jeonghan again.

‘Do you—’ Jeonghan tries to speak as best he can. ‘Do you know what you’re doing?’

‘I take human sexuality, I think I’ve got it,’ he says in between kisses. 

Jeonghan pulls away long enough to give him a confused look; ‘Okay. That’s a bit out of character.’

Seungcheol shrugs. ‘My women’s studies professor thought it would be a good companion course.’

‘You sure are full of surprises. What’s a gay man doing taking women’s studies?’

Now he really stops in earnest and gives Jeonghan a hard stare – which is difficult considering his friend is half naked. ‘Feminists come in all shapes and sizes!’

‘Fuck. You’re such a good person— it’s kinda hot.’

Seungcheol wastes no time going back in; finally unbuttoning Jeonghan’s shorts, he pulls them off and strips down to his underwear too (thankfully slightly less embarrassing than the pair he’d worn in art class). He gets down on his knees.

‘What’re you doing? You don’t have to do— _that_ …’ 

But Seungcheol is already doing it. It just feels right; it’s what he wants to do. Total rookie that he is, Seungcheol is extremely eager to please, and sometimes being thrown in at the deep end is the only way to learn. Giving Jeonghan a blowjob is a lot more fun than he’d expected, too. 

Judging by the reactions he’s getting, it’s not going too badly. Jeonghan pulls at his hair and moans so loudly that Seungcheol is worried the whole parking lot will hear. He has to pull away and stop when he starts to suspect it might be over too quickly. Jeonghan is considerably more dishevelled and needy than he was before, and Seungcheol wants to do bad things to him – very bad things.

They both get down onto the pillows – Jeonghan reclining beneath him – and the moment of truth fast approaches. 

When Jeonghan whips out a condom, it makes Seungcheol wonder if the other boy ever intended to work on the project tonight at all. But his devious intentions have worked out for the best; if Seungcheol’s human sexuality class has taught him one thing, it’s that two consenting adults should _always_ use protection. 

His first time putting a condom on is aided by his more experienced partner, and when the task is complete he knows the only thing left to do is… _it._

Seungcheol loses his virginity on the floor of the gaming van with a boy so far out of his league it’s almost comical. When he starts moving, the feeling of being inside Jeonghan is wonderful – like nothing he could’ve ever imagined. 

He’s seen a lot of sex in shows like Game of Thrones; Seungcheol has always been curious about just how good it could feel. He wondered if it would ever make him go half-crazy and desperate – but this was a question he hadn’t expected to find the answer to so soon. Waiting until a special person came along had always seemed like the most sensible and feasible idea. Seungcheol would have sex when he found a deep, everlasting love. But now, as he makes love to Jeonghan with all the passion he never knew he had, his good sense has completely gone out the window.

All he wants is to keep feeling like this.

All he wants is Jeonghan, with his lovely yellow hair and his unexpected shyness—

Seungcheol finishes far too quickly, and he reaches his climax with a small sense of foreboding. How could he allow himself to think such _romantic_ thoughts about Jeonghan? It would be humiliating if he developed grand delusions about someone he could never hope to win over. 

It’s just a casual thing, he knows this.

So it comes as no surprise when Jeonghan lies next to him and hurries to set up last minute boundaries. ‘This was nice— but we probably shouldn’t do it again. We’re project partners and mixing business and pleasure is always bad.’ He’s rambling now; reassuring himself rather than Seungcheol. ‘I should never have done this in the first place, I said I wouldn’t. I’m supposed to ask Joshua out and finally get a boyfriend. It’s the obvious thing to do—’

‘Joshua?’ Seungcheol tries to sound very casual and unaffected. It’s easier to do than he thought it would be, now that he’s come to terms with the impossibility of claiming Jeonghan’s heart.

Jeonghan turns to him and looks very serious, and perhaps a little sad too. ‘This has to be a secret. No one can know, okay?’

Seungcheol is finding it increasingly hard to say no. 

‘Okay. No one will know. It’ll be a one-time thing.’

-

It is _not_ a one-time thing.

Jeonghan thinks he can live without being close to Choi Seungcheol; he decides to try and be happy with sitting opposite him in his dorm room, sketching the straightness of his nose and his soft, curly hair. 

But when he gets lost in the moment – staring at the dorky boy opposite him – it’s not his body he wants. It’s the feeling of Seungcheol’s warmth all around him that he craves; Jeonghan finds himself longing to be held and to be loved.

And the fact that Seungcheol is handsome and charming doesn’t hurt either.

When the other boy turns around his sketchbook and shows Jeonghan the drawings, all his resolve melts away into nothing. Seungcheol has drawn him as an elf prince; it’s a beautiful character design with intricate armour and so much tenderness in its rendering of Jeonghan’s facial expressions, that he can’t help but march over to the other bed and kiss him. Right on the mouth.

As they make out and things heat up, it is not lost on Jeonghan that he has a type. The only other person he’s ever felt this way about was the boy from high school— the kid from the swim team that was so heartbreakingly _kind_.

Seungcheol is kind too. And generous. And attentive.

And Jeonghan could spend hours listening to him talk about lame things like the intricacies of the Klingon language, or the importance of respecting fan fiction. 

They kiss and talk intermittently every time they meet for the rest of the week, and Jeonghan is content to move at this pace for a while. It’s nice finding out more about his dorm neighbour. He learns, for instance, that Seungcheol is an English Lit major hoping to get into the publishing industry. His ultimate dream is to make the sci fi and fantasy book market more diverse – and Jeonghan can’t think of anything more fitting for someone as noble as a medieval knight. He finds out that the other boy hates coffee and always drinks hot chocolate; that he’s had just one friend all his life; and that he likes to lie under the stars on clear nights and imagine what life would be like on another planet.

It’s a funny feeling. Jeonghan wants to give Seungcheol everything he desires.

To make him happy.

To make him feel loved and listened to.

He wants, after a while of basking in his presence, to sleep with him again.

When their physical relationship resumes one rainy day in Jeonghan’s dorm, it shows no signs of stopping. What was meant to be a one-night stand, never spoken of and only half remembered, becomes an uncontrollable expression of the feelings he can’t bring himself to name.

They ease into it at first, not wanting to rush anything when so much is at stake. But it’s hard to hold back after supressing their urges for so long. This time Jeonghan takes a more dominant role – as he should have the first time round – and he sits on top of Seungcheol, riding him and running his hands along his body. It’s shockingly intimate. 

Jeonghan can’t help staring into the other boy’s eyes and blushing at the realisation that he is being looked at with just as much tenderness too. He’s never had sex like this before.

They hook up in the van again. 

They make out behind the cafeteria. 

Seungcheol walks past him in the art room and gives his butt a subtle slap.

This is what life is like now, and Jeonghan has never felt so many conflicting emotions all at once. Of course, there’s the usual shame at the thought of his secretive affair, and anxiety too; who wouldn’t be stressed about catching feelings for someone they shouldn’t? Especially when said person is determined to be a perennially embarrassing social outcast. But there’s happiness too. 

Jeonghan feels warm inside when he’s with Seungcheol. He feels safe. 

The bubble was always bound to burst, and it happens as they approach the end of their portrait project – when Jeonghan is set to attend the party his friends have hyped up for a solid month. They think this’ll be Jeonghan’s big chance to secure the only boy that deserves him.

‘He actually replied to the Facebook invite, you know. Joshua never does that— he’s too cool for social media. I think he’s extra keen because a certain someone will be there,’ Seungkwan raises an eyebrow at Jeonghan in the mirror’s reflection. He’s putting gentle waves in Jeonghan’s blonde hair and now it’s time for the finishing touch; a flower crown. 

Jeonghan looks perfect, the very image of conformity. His choker and striped tee and thigh highs have been carefully chosen after finding inspiration on Tumblr – although that’s not the only thing he found there. After searching for a surprisingly short amount of time, he managed to find Seungcheol’s account. It was full of fandom gifs and art and discussions and everything that makes him _him_.

But Jeonghan shouldn’t be thinking of that now. 

‘God. I really have to do this, don’t I?’

Fortunately, his friend doesn’t pick up on the fear in his voice. Nor does he understand precisely what Jeonghan has to do to be the ideal version of himself he’s always dreamed of. 

See, it’s not so easy to turn down a person you don’t care about when he represents everything you’ve desperately tried to achieve for four hard years. His relationship with Joshua would solidify his image as popular, sociable, _normal_. He’s the easy choice.

Seungcheol – with all his cosplay costumes and tabletop games – would make Jeonghan an outcast again. He’ll go back to being the lonely boy in black, full of self-hatred and misery. Jeonghan doesn’t want to disappear into himself; to sleepwalk through his own life again, never truly belonging. 

He knows what he has to do. But he’s not quite cruel enough to cut Seungcheol out of his life without so much as a goodbye. Jeonghan owes him his gratitude and he owes him an apology.

So, making his excuses and promising to meet them at the venue, Jeonghan steps out to go visit the dorm at the end of the corridor. 

-

Seungcheol tried very hard to keep Wonwoo away from the van as long as possible, but there are only so many excuses you can make to a seasoned gamer that needs D&D campaigns as much as food and water. 

His friend had taken one good look inside the van and immediately proclaimed that ‘the game is afoot’; someone had clearly broken in and tried to manipulate their game. What villain could do such a thing?

Despite replacing everything as carefully as he could, Seungcheol had known this situation was more or less unavoidable. Announcing that he had a confession to make, he led a very rattled Wonwoo back to the dorm room for an earnest heart to heart.

Now, as he finishes his explanation, he’s faced with the righteous wrath of a scorned best friend. 

‘Honestly Seungcheol, it’s like I hardly know you! Running about with boys like that, destroying our gaming van, having… sexual intercourse...’ He shudders at the thought of his closest friend doing unspeakable things with the boy from room 4B. ‘You’re being rash. You’ve barely even kissed anyone before and now this—’

‘Hey! I told you I had my first kiss in high school! Well, it was a peck on the cheek but still—’

Wonwoo gets even more frustrated than before; ‘Cease your lying! Everyone knows what it means when you say you’ve made out with a kid from “out of town” and that nobody knows him. You didn’t even get his name.’

‘I’m telling the truth! And I’ve had plenty of girlfriends since then!’

Their argument reaches new heights with Wonwoo giving him the most withering stare he can manage. ‘You were being _catfished_. One of them said they were from Genovia.’

‘And? There’s nothing wrong with being Europen?’

A tense silence sets in, and Seungcheol lets Wonwoo simmer for a few seconds. He doesn’t want to fight with his best friend, especially about something so unnecessary. 

‘The reason I’m coming clean about this is because I think Jeonghan actually likes me. Maybe… I have a chance with him.’ Seungcheol adds more confidence to his voice. ‘So it would mean a lot if you could give us your blessing.’

A knock on the door startles them both, and Seungcheol isn’t even that surprised when he opens the door and sees the very person he’s been talking about. He has a bit of a sixth sense when it comes to Jeonghan. Tonight, the boy is dressed to impress, with a lot of flesh on show – he must be on his way to that big party.

‘You like nice,’ Seungcheol gives him a warm smile and opens the door even wider. ‘Come in, make yourself at home. I guess you can’t stay long?’

‘No…’ Jeonghan answers as he walks inside and sits on Seungcheol’s bed. This is the first time he’s ever been inside Seungcheol’s dorm room and he seems quite distracted looking at the décor. His eyes linger on posters and action figures and the lightsaber propped up against the desk. Even after getting to know each other better, Seungcheol still feels self-conscious in moments like these; he’s afraid he might be too much. Too uncool.

‘Sorry, I should’ve cleaned up. Maybe there are too many figures on display—’

‘It’s fine. It’s sweet actually,’ Jeonghan cuts him off and when Seungcheol joins him on the bed, he takes his hand and looks very earnest. ‘This isn’t going to be easy but—’ Jeonghan does a doubletake and jumps; he’s only just noticed Wonwoo sitting on the bed opposite, and if looks could kill, the intruder would be dead as a doornail.

‘Oh, don’t mind him. He’s not paying any attention to us.’ Seungcheol diffuses the situation as best he can, but Wonwoo has activated attack mode. 

‘Go on. What’s not going to be easy? Say it.’

Apparently, his best friend is now very much a part of this conversation; but something in Wonwoo’s scathing tone is starting to make Seungcheol equally uneasy. What _does_ Jeonghan have to say to him?

He loses all his fortitude. Seungcheol wishes he could be as brave as the characters he loves. He can wield a sword and play make believe until his heart is content, but really courage comes from deep within. Seungcheol just feels empty inside – as though all his hope and determination has made an early exit and left him with nothing but fear. 

‘We have to stop this,’ Jeonghan sounds like he’s holding back tears.

‘But _why?_ Please don’t do this. Jeonghan I lo—’

‘Don’t say it. Just don’t’ The other boy lets go of his hand. ‘There’s someone else I have to be with, so it isn’t right to keep messing around with you. I’m sorry.’

Perhaps Jeonghan would’ve stayed longer if it weren’t for what happened next. In all their years of friendship, Seungcheol had never seen Jeon Wonwoo wear such a dark expression before. A switch is flipped inside him, and all hell is let loose. 

‘You’re not sorry! If you cared about someone like Seungcheol you wouldn’t have played with his heart like this! You people pity us and laugh at us and think we don’t have feelings— well we do. And now that you’ve had your fun, you’re throwing him away. Seungcheol deserves better.’ For once, Wonwoo speaks with eloquence and sincerity – although something of his usual self resurfaces as Jeonghan makes his way to the door; ‘Begone, seductress! I banish you from this realm!’

Said seductress wastes no time in leaving Seungcheol’s room – and his life – for good. When all is said and done and the two of them are left in silence, the tears start pouring.

Seungcheol can’t stop them. He cries and cries as Wonwoo holds him.

-

Parties are a lot less scary now than they used to be. Jeonghan and Jihoon aren’t the outsiders they once were; he’d been right about college all along. These days, Jeonghan has less of a problem talking to strangers. He gets drunk, makes friends and dances to his favourite songs.

Well, that’s what _usually_ happens.

Tonight is a different story. It’s impossible to get wasted and have a great time when an hour or so earlier, Jeonghan had broken the heart of the most wonderful man he’s ever met. 

The others have finally given up their campaign of making Jeonghan smile and instead have decided to leave him to his moping. Fearful of running into Joshua, the best option is to revert back to his wallflower ways. Jeonghan finds a quiet corner – a little too close to the sound system – and finds comfort in his phone. Scrolling endlessly through Seungcheol’s tumblr blog is surprisingly therapeutic. He’s learning a lot about Doctor Who and Sherlock as he sips his Jack and coke, but there’s a disappointing lack of selfies on the account. 

Perhaps getting a glimpse of Seungcheol’s goofy smile right now would be send him into a fit of hysterical crying, but the heart works in mysterious ways. Jeonghan wants to lose himself in this bittersweet feeling. 

‘This is supposed to be a fun party – didn’t you get the memo?’

Joining him on the carpet, Jihoon distracts Jeonghan from the pit of all-consuming sadness welling up inside him.

‘Well maybe I don’t want to have fun. Maybe I want to be miserable.’

‘I’m not as stupid as you think I am, you know?’ Jihoon scowls at him, but there’s an undercurrent of genuine concern and affection in his voice. ‘I can tell you like that jacked up nerd. Why are you lying to us? More importantly, why are you lying to yourself? The world isn’t going to collapse in on itself if the no.1 party boy on campus asks a dork out for coffee.’

Jeonghan is already relenting; Jihoon has that effect on him. He’s so steady. There’s something reliable and honest about his friend that makes Jeonghan feel like a ship being guided safely to harbour. 

But surely it’s too late now?

‘I dumped him. I hurt him.’ Jeonghan sighs before remembering himself. ‘You don’t have to sit here with me— go have fun.’

‘I actually quite like it here on the sticky carpet. It’s comfortable. And besides, I wasn’t there for you back then when you were out of your depth and alone. I’m not making that mistake twice.’

Jeonghan relaxes and lets his head drop onto Jihoon’s shoulders. He smells like musky cologne; his friend is all set to make a conquest tonight, but instead he’s sharing Jeonghan’s cloud of depression. Thinking back on it, he even remembers Jihoon mentioning a certain dance major with a propensity for stealing things that don’t belong to him. Just the kind of mischievous weirdo that Lee Jihoon would fall for.

Thinking about this, he makes the mistake of letting his guard down. Jihoon swipes up his phone and scrolls through Choi Seungcheol’s tumblr account – all the way to the bottom.

‘Who’s this asshole and why does he look kinda familiar?’

Jeonghan snatches the phone back and feels his heart freeze momentarily. 

‘Is that… Seungcheol?’ Jihoon is piecing it together too. ‘He’s sunglasses guy? No way…’ 

It’s the only selfie on the whole account. The quality is grainy, and the lighting is terrible, but Jeonghan would recognise that letterman jacket anywhere, not to mention the big round sunglasses. The picture was posted in 2010. The date adds up.

‘So it’s him. It’s always been him.’

Jihoon grabs him by the shoulders and sounds more excited than he ever has before: ‘This is some rom com shit! Jeonghan, you need to go get your man. Right _now.’_

-

It’s quite easy to be alone when you have one friend and a whole campus at your disposal. Seungcheol is used to loneliness and the quiet that comes with it. Until now, a solitary existence has been something comforting, familiar. It’s astonishing just how quickly he unlearnt what a lifetime of independence had taught him. All Seungcheol wants, as he looks up at the distant stars, is to share this moment with the person that’s made him happier than anyone else. 

That person, however, doesn’t want him. 

And why would he? Seungcheol talks too much about stupid things that don’t matter. He likes spending his money on fandom t-shirts and novelty mugs. He doesn’t have experience with love and sex and adult relationships. What could he possibly give someone like Jeonghan? He’s already so… complete. He’s had a full, rich life without Seungcheol and he’ll go on just fine without him. No matter what Wonwoo says, he can’t be too mad at Jeonghan for the way he acted. Leaving Seungcheol behind was the logical choice. 

Losing himself in the mind-bending magnitude of the cosmos is all that’s left for him now. Seungcheol tries to take refuge in his own imagination. He gazes deeply at the bright celestial forms, focuses in on the nearest constellation until—

He blinks and almost screams as something blocks out the night sky. When Seungcheol takes a deep breath and looks back up, he sees someone standing over him on the grass.

It’s Yoon Jeonghan, with flowers in his beautiful hair. 

‘Am I dreaming?’ 

‘If you were, would it be a good dream or a nightmare?’ The half-real Jeonghan asks. His starlit form comes closer, sitting on top of Seungcheol’s lap and looking down at him.

‘I wouldn’t want to ever wake up again.’ Seungcheol lets a tear escape from the corner of his eye. He hopes it isn’t noticeable.

Jeonghan looks like he’s crying too, but instead of drying off his own face, he wipes Seungcheol’s cheek instead.

‘You don’t have to,’ he says.

Then Seungcheol is kissed by him. It’s soft and hesitant, but the sensation of it is enough to convince him that this is really happening. The grass beneath him is damp and dewy, the night air betrays the first cold sting of autumn. Everything is quiet and gentle and perfect.

‘Jeonghan,’ he says, really sobbing now. ‘Jeonghan… you’re here. Does this mean—’

The boy he loves lets out a good-natured – but slightly mocking – laugh. ‘I would very much like to be your boyfriend, if that’s okay with you. I want to be with the person that’s always looked out for me.’

Seungcheol isn’t entirely sure what Jeonghan means by this, but it hardly matters. He pulls him in for another kiss and smiles as their lips meet.

‘I accepted your generous proposal.’ 

When Jeonghan laughs again, Seungcheol lets the sound wash over him. He hopes he’ll get to hear it for the rest of his life.

-

As cluttered and aesthetically inharmonious as it is, Jeonghan loves being in his boyfriend’s dorm room; especially when his roommate has gone back home for the weekend. Jeon Wonwoo is slowly but surely accepting Jeonghan as a serious suitor for his treasured friend, but it’s an elaborate and long process. It’s progress, but Jeonghan is glad to have a tiny break.

Seungcheol is reading a comic book on his bed, evidently too absorbed in its thrilling contents to look up at the love of his life. 

‘Hey babe.’

‘Hey,’ Jeonghan replies nonchalantly.

After dating for a solid six months and keeping his revelation a secret, Jeonghan has decided it’s finally time to put his boyfriend’s memory to the test. Telling him would be boring. Doing something drastic and spontaneous, on the other hand, is so much more fun. 

He knocked the comic out of Seungcheol’s hands and raises an eyebrow at him. The other boy reacts almost immediately – although it takes a while for elevator to reach the top floor.

He’s a little on the slow side.

‘Woah you dyed your hair pink? You look amazing! Like a fairy prince or an intergalactic warrior. It’s neat.’ He gives him a kiss on the cheek and picks up the comic again. 

A minute passes. Then another. 

And then Jeonghan hears a sharp intake of breath.

‘Oh. My. _GOD—_ it was you!?’

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for making it to the end! This was a real challenge to write and ended up being much longer than intended...
> 
> Please follow me on twitter [@cruel_cupidd](https://twitter.com/cruel_cupidd?lang=en)


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